Not that I’ve been doing this with any kind of true purpose, but it seems that perhaps I have been putting together a bit of a “Loser’s Dictionary” or actually, a “Loser’s Phrase Book”. However, I’m not so sure that if I were to finish this work, that it would have a huge audience. Rarely does it seem to come up that one might find themself in some far off land where the only language is “loser speak” and you whip out my handy phrase book and immediately can handle the situation. Nor would it appear that any requests for Loser Speak translators or LSSL (Loser Speak as a Second Language) tend to come up.
So then why do I seem to have a mild obsession with it?
It just seems that the language one uses tends to often be a tip off of how that person thinks or may be prone to act. To be honest, the word loser may be a tad harsh, but I didn’t resonate with some of the other potential choices such as “Slackers Phrase Book”, “Non-committal Phrase Book”, or “Lazy Phrase Book”. If you think there’s a better title out there, let me know.
For example, let’s take the rather common phrase “He (or she) did the best they could do.” You don’t hear it in the context of Kobe Bryant just scored 52 points leading the Lakers to a 119 102 victory. Well I guess he did the best he can do. You wouldn’t hear it describing a man who raced into a burning building and rescued a family of four from certain death. No, you rarely ever hear this phrase used to describe anything that might remotely actually be considered “best”.
Instead it has become a catch all phrase to rationalize why somebody failed at something. Or what I like to call, just some more “loser speak”. “You were supposed to have that report done by Wednesday”, says your boss and you reply with “I did the best I could.” They did the best he could. She did her best. I did my best.
It just seems to me that with so many people out there doing their best, why is it that things in general seem to be so darn mediocre? Or am I wrong in thinking that every now and again one might expect that “best” might really mean best.
Perhaps the problem was that I just didn’t know the definition for the word “best”The Free Dictionary was kind enough to provide me with quite a few meanings for the word “best”, and even gave me some phrases to show usage.
best(b st)
adj. Superlative of good.
1. Surpassing all others in excellence, achievement, or quality; most excellent: the best performer; the best grade of ore.
2. Most satisfactory, suitable, or useful; most desirable: the best solution; the best time for planting.
3. Greatest; most: He spoke for the best part of an hour.
4. Most highly skilled: the best doctor in town.
adv. Superlative of well2.
1. In a most excellent way; most creditably or advantageously.
2. To the greatest degree or extent; most: “He was certainly the best hated man in the ship” (W. Somerset Maugham).
n.
1. One that surpasses all others.
2. The best part, moment, or value: The best is still to come. Let’s get the best out of life.
3. The optimum condition or quality: look your best. She was at her best in the freestyle competition.
4. One’s nicest or most formal clothing.
5. The supreme effort one can make: doing our best.
6. One’s warmest wishes or regards: Give them my best.
Looking over these definitions, I can only fault this dictionary for not having included the following.
7. Disappointing or inadequate. Failing to achieve a desired benchmark or result: did his or her best.
Now, looking back at this list, we see the number 5 definition for best says “the supreme effort one can make”. You can blame the Tea Party, Obama, The Chinese, Terrorists, Reality television or aliens for the poor state of affairs in the U S of A, but if you ask me, it would seem that we’re just not getting a whole lot of “supreme effort” out there.
What may be the worst part about this lack of supreme effort is that it is being embraced and supported. We see that not just by the use of the statement “doing the best they can”, but in how quickly it is used to defend someone, some thing or some position. It’s not like anybody has to follow it up with some explanation such as “he was dropped on his head when he was a baby” or “he has triskaidekaphobia” (the fear of the number 13).
And when you hear somebody respond to your asking them to do something with “I’ll do my best.” it’s almost a foregone conclusion that whatever it is, ain’t gonna get done. The synonym for “I’ll do my best”, is “I’ll try”, which at least doesn’t offer up any pretenses about anybody making a supreme effort. “I’ll try”, is about the least committal phrase there is, and another top one in the “Losers Phrase Book”.
You know what present you get for a bullfighter who “did the best he could”?
A tombstone.
So, do you think I’m on to something here? Are you content with the fact that everybody is doing their best? Is “lame” the new black? Does it actually take 3 Californians to put in a light bulb? Will Mavis marry Todd? Or maybe you have a word or phrase for the Losers Phrase Book. Let us know!
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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Well, my wife will be ticked … but I’ll do the best I can.
Todd
As the Metallica song goes, “Sad But True.” I have a dictionary of euphemisms and many of the same words and meanings are in there as well!
I’ve been guilty of using the loser’s dictionary myself–especially the “I’ll try”, when it’s something I don’t want to do and the person requesting it has given either an unrealistic (synonym: impossible) deadline or (worse) no deadline at all.
From the other person’s standpoint, another synonym for “best” would be, “A for effort”, as in “Well, you get an ‘A’ for effort.” Which is in reality, “E for everything else.”
One more suggestion for inclusion in your dictionary: “Different”. You hear this all the time in interior decorating as well as business.
As in, “What do you think of the carpeting?” “It’s…um, Different.”
“What kind of layout is THAT?” “I wanted to do something Different.”
As one of my illustration teachers long ago said when I used the term:
“You want to do something ‘different’? REALLY different?
Do something GOOD.”
Thanks, J.S.!
Best,
Mike
Isn’t mediocre is the best most people can do at most tasks? By definition, most people deliver average results. It’s not average if most people exceed it.
Well Jeremy, mediocre means moderate to inferior, not average. Also, if one were to compare “average” for certain things today vs. 10 years ago, they may find the bar has in many cases been severely lowered. This eeven takes into account that some individual and even team records, such as in sporting may have been broken and even shattered in the past few years.
Mike,
I too must admit to falling prey to the whole “I’ll try” thing too. Although people will tell you that I am quite experienced at telling people to piss off, “I’ll try” just seems to work better in some situations.